What's my problem
What is my problem? Is it just me or is everything i say always get misinterpreted. I try... i try i try to explain to people how i feel but you know... sometimes its better that people do not know... then they do not think that you are weak. They do not think that you are a woos.... Maybe i need therapy and see a shrink!!! I guess all this stem from growing up the way i grew up. Dysfunstional but functional. Does that make sense? i do not know anymore.... things has just be so messed up lately.... there are so many things to do and so little time t do them.
People usually become happy when they are going back to where they come from.... I say usually casually here. I must say i have mixed feeling. Very mix feeling. I have fear, sad, anxious, happy and excited all roll into one like a bowl of salad that just gone wrong. I have live on my own for the last 8 years without any interuption. Without people bothering me quite happly. It has been a great 8 years despite the ups and the down and fighting to study. One thing though!!!! Its so scary to come back home after all those years of not having to listen to anyone and being able to do whatever and whenever... its hard... its very hard. One can only hope for the best...... You know what's even scarier is that living under the same roof as my mother..... she loves money.... the mroe money the better.... she also loves telling all her daughter that men are evil and man can not be trusted... she also tries to make a point that her daughters are never good enough... well i should say she make sure all of her kids know that we are never good enough for her... other people's children are always better always... other people kids are always better always..... its so frustrating.... its very frustrating actually.... I know that i am good enough.. but sometime you just could not help and wonder......
I feel quite sad really.... i am going to leave this place... i have been here for 8 years... 8 years... study here... work here... its like home... :( Feel quite anxious as well because i will be working at a new place.... where things are run differently... not that i am afraid of change... i am a very flexable person i would and should say... i just felt that i may get frustrated!!!
I guess things are not all negative... i know that its hard for me to move on i'm sure there are perks of going back home.... Being with the one you love is one. My "rock". Although lately i have been a "Bitch". Huh!!!.... that will be the day to look forward to... to see him smile and be happy. That would be nice.
Anyway thats about it i guess.......
People usually become happy when they are going back to where they come from.... I say usually casually here. I must say i have mixed feeling. Very mix feeling. I have fear, sad, anxious, happy and excited all roll into one like a bowl of salad that just gone wrong. I have live on my own for the last 8 years without any interuption. Without people bothering me quite happly. It has been a great 8 years despite the ups and the down and fighting to study. One thing though!!!! Its so scary to come back home after all those years of not having to listen to anyone and being able to do whatever and whenever... its hard... its very hard. One can only hope for the best...... You know what's even scarier is that living under the same roof as my mother..... she loves money.... the mroe money the better.... she also loves telling all her daughter that men are evil and man can not be trusted... she also tries to make a point that her daughters are never good enough... well i should say she make sure all of her kids know that we are never good enough for her... other people's children are always better always... other people kids are always better always..... its so frustrating.... its very frustrating actually.... I know that i am good enough.. but sometime you just could not help and wonder......
I feel quite sad really.... i am going to leave this place... i have been here for 8 years... 8 years... study here... work here... its like home... :( Feel quite anxious as well because i will be working at a new place.... where things are run differently... not that i am afraid of change... i am a very flexable person i would and should say... i just felt that i may get frustrated!!!
I guess things are not all negative... i know that its hard for me to move on i'm sure there are perks of going back home.... Being with the one you love is one. My "rock". Although lately i have been a "Bitch". Huh!!!.... that will be the day to look forward to... to see him smile and be happy. That would be nice.
Anyway thats about it i guess.......
posted by Dr Kiasu at 8:56 AM
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